Windows 98 Brooklyn Edition

Its an old one but i still laugh at it!

Windows 98 Brooklyn Edition

Dear Consumas:

It has come ta our attention dat a coupola copies ofda WINDOWS 98/BROOKLYN EDITION may have accidentallybin shipped outsida Brooklyn. If ya got one a dese,you may need some help understandin' da commands. DaBrooklyn edition may be recognized by da uniqueopenin' screen. It reads: "WINDAS 98," wit abackground picture of Grand Army Plaza. When you start da program, instead of da usual "harpy,stringy" music, you hear da teme from da Godfadda. Itis also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava. Please also note:

* Recycle Bin is labeled "Staten Island."

* My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computa."

* The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk."

* Deleted Items are referred to as "Wacked," "Erased,"or "Rubbed Out."

* Dial up Networking is called "Da Bar."

* Control Panel is known as the "Da Bosses."

* Performin' an "illegal operation" is known as"enhancin' the family business" and will actuallymaximize da program instead of shuttin' it down.

* Hard Drive is referred to as "Da BQE Rush Hour."

* Instead of an error message, a "You ain't gonnafriggin' believe dis!" pops up.

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN DA BROOKLYN EDITION:

* OK................Sure ting

* Cancel...........Fugetaboutit

* Reset.............Start Ova

* Yes...............Yeah

* No................Nah

* Find..............Put a contract out on

* Browse............Get a looksee

* Back..............U toin

* Help..............(Help ain't available - yous don'tneed no stinkin' help)

* Stop..............Knock it off

* Start.............Move it!

* Settings..........Here's d' Rules Also note dat any voice recognition software run on daBROOKLYN EDITION platform don't recognize da letter"R." Some programs and udder accessories dat areexclusive to WINDAS 98:

* Typa..................A word processin' program

* Printa................Printer

* Calculata.............Calculator

* Solitare..............Seven Card Stud We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if youreceived a copy of da BROOKLYN EDITION.

You may returnit to Microsoft for a replacement version. Yous got a problem wit dat? BILL ("4 eyes") GATES